Universityship

The concurrent tasks one always encounters while in university are exams. And to be successful in them requires the individual to be extremely good at following:

-Time Management
- Understanding all the text which usually is over expressed in text books
- Information Retrieval (Typically very hard for students in Amsterdam)
- Speed Writing


All these combined form the essential skills needed to be successful in an exams. As being a university student myself, I know how one can over indulge themselves in wild drinking parties, late night knicker chasing and prudent smoking sessions. So, how can one be successful or "One-Up" in their exams without actually doing the above preparations for the exam? Firstly it will require the individual to have nerves of steel and the cool calm collectiveness of a master spy. The methods required to be successful in these situations can be, and most probably are deemed as, cheating however the judgement of risk and rewards are left to the individual to decide. The following text shows methods and techniques on how to be more successful and attain a position of One-Up in exams without doing the previous preparations

Winds screen Wiper Approach



“Shez Bokhari” developed this approach in his first year at university. During this time period I myself had a lot of operations and activities, which I was partaking in. And due to the bad personal habit of bad time management, I had to devise a discrete method of carrying essential information into the exam without being noticed while under exam conditions. As I myself wear glasses, I would write essential material on the cleaning cloth of my spectacles and when I would need the essential information I would simply remove the cloth and clean my glasses while looking through the specs so I could observe the information. This approach has been adopted by various fellow students and can be considered the most discrete and effective measure in being One-Up in Exams.

Tie Hide



This approach was handed down from one of my old class teachers. This is a method he used to pass his final year university exams. He would ultimately place essential notes within his tie and extract them from the bottom or place them at the bottom of the tie behind the big end. And when he required the information he would simply lift/play with his tie. According to my sensei / ex teacher this method allowed him to have copious amounts of information to hand during the exam therefore giving him a higher degree in having a One-Up. I personally have tried this method and although it allows the individual to carry vast amounts of information under the radar the concealment and access to notes seem to be far more efficient with the “Winds Screen Wiper” Approach.

The “Short Skirt and Hidden Notes Combo”



I myself observed this approach when I noticed a rather attractive girl in the exam hall with gorgeous legs and a short skirt, which she was lifting up to unveil formulas for our quants exam. It was a good move however as me knowing what colour underwear she wore made it much easier to tease her during seminars till this day. However apart from admiring her under garments (and their contents) I also admired her courage, nerves and cool collectiveness to achieve a One-Up in the exam hall. It takes a level of bravery and guts to perform these actions and in some cases they give negative results. Unfortunately for me during the same quantz exam, my notes were on my hands and noticed by one of the moderators who asked me to go to the toilet and remove them. But as I was in the good books of the lovely moderator who at the time was also my quantz teacher and I was allowed to sit my exam as normal once I returned. So keep your eyes on the task at hand as it were.

DC FREEZE (Diet Coke)



I stumbled upon this little tactic during my younger years while undertaking my mock GCSE’s and continued to use it throughout to my A levels. During exams, individuals are usually allowed to bring drinks into the exam hall. My mother would always give me a can of Diet Coke… I personally never knew why, but it was always something to drink during the much hated exam so I never minded. But by opening a can of Diet Coke within a quite exam hall -where a pin drop can be heard with Hiroshima-like affects- the can would mind freeze and stop the train of thought of every individual who hears the sound of the Diet Coke opening apart from the individual who opens pandora's box as he aspects the load sound . The POP instantly distracts them and I have often received complaints from fellow classmates in the past that this ritual, as I would call it, during exams really does irritate and stop the flow of information retrieval for them therefore they forget whatever they were thinking of. Therefore this form of auditory warfare brings down the marks of you internal competition in the exam hall as well as reduce marks on a overall basis, therefore putting the individual in a One-Up position.