Short note on Woo manship (Mental State and Awareness)

So you’re at a club, the music’s load, the girls are hot and everyone is having a blast … except for the bouncers they never look too happy and always have the impression that they have pooped their pants but are being cool about it. Anyway you want to be One- Up on all or most of the men within the room. There are various ways you can do this … you can literally buy out the bar or order 2 bottles of MOET 95 costing a total sum of £28,000 as I experienced the other day by a certain type of individual (cough banker cough) doing at the Hilton (Whisky Mist). Most of the individuals reading this probably don’t do holidays on a yatch in the South of France and don’t own a May Bach therefore buying your way to One-Up ness is going to be out of the question. However If one can be John Travolta on the floor and spew out dance combo’s like Jackson one will definitely be One-Up on every man on the floor but to rock that world your going to have to be quite a rather smooth criminal. Often girls find it extremely attractive when men can dance, that’s why the Dance Dance Revolution machine in the arcades only had nerds lined up and MJ has millions of female fans wanting to have his babies.

I know the question drumming through all your minds. “I can’t dance mr editor and I am paralyzed by the fear of me even dancing … and mr editor my father is not Prince of Wales and I not too keen on taking up cocaine either”


The simple but yet affective measures to receive results without inserting any cash at the bar or losing any dignity on the dance floor can be achieved by being in tune with the songs and one’s inner self and environment. Just by noding your head to beat and emitting the presence of a vibrant focused individual who can and will in the future be able to buy 15 year old MOET will truly take one a great deal forward on the road of success. It is good to be mentally checked and physically checked just like a car needs M.O.T and Tax to attain insurance for it. The golden rule applied by one of my good friends is “If everyone comes as race car driver come as a fighter pilot and if everyone comes as a fighter pilot then come as an astronaut” So by being ahead of all the norms ( The One-down) individuals one will always be One-Up.

A good lifeman has one eye on the ball and the other eye on the court. So Once you got the rhythm, vibe and clothes greater then the rest, look at the opposite sex and see which one is giving you eye contact. And if a girl is looking at you then there is something about you she is intrigued by … otherwise why would she look. As the demon in the black cocktail dress continues to look at you make sure before you go into the dark you make a pit stop in her bed before you enter hell. Often these shy creatures break eye contact then wait 10 seconds and look again. If this occurs you can be assured it’s on like Donkey Kong my friend.

Universityship

The concurrent tasks one always encounters while in university are exams. And to be successful in them requires the individual to be extremely good at following:

-Time Management
- Understanding all the text which usually is over expressed in text books
- Information Retrieval (Typically very hard for students in Amsterdam)
- Speed Writing


All these combined form the essential skills needed to be successful in an exams. As being a university student myself, I know how one can over indulge themselves in wild drinking parties, late night knicker chasing and prudent smoking sessions. So, how can one be successful or "One-Up" in their exams without actually doing the above preparations for the exam? Firstly it will require the individual to have nerves of steel and the cool calm collectiveness of a master spy. The methods required to be successful in these situations can be, and most probably are deemed as, cheating however the judgement of risk and rewards are left to the individual to decide. The following text shows methods and techniques on how to be more successful and attain a position of One-Up in exams without doing the previous preparations

Winds screen Wiper Approach



“Shez Bokhari” developed this approach in his first year at university. During this time period I myself had a lot of operations and activities, which I was partaking in. And due to the bad personal habit of bad time management, I had to devise a discrete method of carrying essential information into the exam without being noticed while under exam conditions. As I myself wear glasses, I would write essential material on the cleaning cloth of my spectacles and when I would need the essential information I would simply remove the cloth and clean my glasses while looking through the specs so I could observe the information. This approach has been adopted by various fellow students and can be considered the most discrete and effective measure in being One-Up in Exams.

Tie Hide



This approach was handed down from one of my old class teachers. This is a method he used to pass his final year university exams. He would ultimately place essential notes within his tie and extract them from the bottom or place them at the bottom of the tie behind the big end. And when he required the information he would simply lift/play with his tie. According to my sensei / ex teacher this method allowed him to have copious amounts of information to hand during the exam therefore giving him a higher degree in having a One-Up. I personally have tried this method and although it allows the individual to carry vast amounts of information under the radar the concealment and access to notes seem to be far more efficient with the “Winds Screen Wiper” Approach.

The “Short Skirt and Hidden Notes Combo”



I myself observed this approach when I noticed a rather attractive girl in the exam hall with gorgeous legs and a short skirt, which she was lifting up to unveil formulas for our quants exam. It was a good move however as me knowing what colour underwear she wore made it much easier to tease her during seminars till this day. However apart from admiring her under garments (and their contents) I also admired her courage, nerves and cool collectiveness to achieve a One-Up in the exam hall. It takes a level of bravery and guts to perform these actions and in some cases they give negative results. Unfortunately for me during the same quantz exam, my notes were on my hands and noticed by one of the moderators who asked me to go to the toilet and remove them. But as I was in the good books of the lovely moderator who at the time was also my quantz teacher and I was allowed to sit my exam as normal once I returned. So keep your eyes on the task at hand as it were.

DC FREEZE (Diet Coke)



I stumbled upon this little tactic during my younger years while undertaking my mock GCSE’s and continued to use it throughout to my A levels. During exams, individuals are usually allowed to bring drinks into the exam hall. My mother would always give me a can of Diet Coke… I personally never knew why, but it was always something to drink during the much hated exam so I never minded. But by opening a can of Diet Coke within a quite exam hall -where a pin drop can be heard with Hiroshima-like affects- the can would mind freeze and stop the train of thought of every individual who hears the sound of the Diet Coke opening apart from the individual who opens pandora's box as he aspects the load sound . The POP instantly distracts them and I have often received complaints from fellow classmates in the past that this ritual, as I would call it, during exams really does irritate and stop the flow of information retrieval for them therefore they forget whatever they were thinking of. Therefore this form of auditory warfare brings down the marks of you internal competition in the exam hall as well as reduce marks on a overall basis, therefore putting the individual in a One-Up position.

Music One-Up

Picasso once quoted “ I don’t believe in accidents. There are only encounters in history. There are no accidents ”



Recently I stumbled upon the seductive and hard going instrument… the violin. My adoption and love bound for this instrument and struggle to play it better lead me to purchase a classical music CD to fully embrace the art and quality sound coming out it. The main reason I purchased the CD was also for something to listen to while in the car. Classic FM is good but I prefer the classics such as Cannon in D instead of new wave classics of the likes of Hanz Zimmer thumping out of my car stereo.


Anyhow I had decided I would pick my friend Hassan from work and we would go driving and probably catch a bite to eat. As he finishes work at 3 pm. I had to purchase the congestion charge, which in my opinion is nothing more than gloryfied day light robbery. Being young and 20 years old I have adopted the MAX VOLUME approach while driving however I fear all the BASS from musical songs such as “TIME” by David Ghetta will surely destroy my awesome ears and lose a customer for apple. Anyhow, driving around sunny and hot London can be distracting and rather hard as every girl within a 10 metre radius is displaying her lovely legs. However being the natural Bond I am , I can drive and perv at the same time, now that's multi-tasking! Anyhow I under estimated the traffic conditions and was totally stuck in non moving traffic. Just like you see in sit-coms and movies. And I didn’t have much time till Hassan finished work. Being the cool preppy self that I am. I had the car windows rolled down as Cannon in D blasted out of Car. While stuck in traffic on old Brompton road, a gentlemen drove up in a grey Aston Martin Vantage. I could here the seductive roar of engine underlying my classical music. As I turned to look at the driver next to my car there sitting in his Aston was a man that could've been 007 himself. The classical music rung through the traffic as well as the hum of the Aston it was total harmony. During the peak of the song a conversation began which lasted almost 5 mins.

Man in Aston: My good man is that Cannon in D you seem to be coursing out of your speakers LOL
Me: A nod!
Man in Aston: Ah I don’t see that much these days. Young people, blasting out Classical Music. Actually I never see it to be honest.
Me: Classical Music has a distained character unlike these other music genres, also the radio stations play super pop music which I don’t really fancy. It is like I am already living in Japan and listening to one time pop stars on the radio. Plus this traffic is not helping and it’s making me run late.

Then after some minor conversation about music we moved onto our common enemy…the traffic.

Man in Aston: Where are you heading to anyway ?
Me: I going to Covent Garden actually
Man in Aston: Ahhhh I see. I am going a similar direction and I know short cut. Care to follow.
Me: Sure
After taking copious amounts of short cuts and driving through the streets of London in true Italian Job fashion I re discovered the joys of driving. I have to say that the chap in the Aston was maneuvering and zig zagging through the traffic like Lewis Hamilton. After tailing him I arrived at Convent Garden in about 10 mins. And with a brief thanks and a flash of lights, off went the Aston.
HEHE!

While I was driving I asked my Sat Nav to record the routes and shorts cuts… so no more waiting in gridlock anymore Mr Bond!

So what I learnt from this encounter is specific music radiates different levels of positive vibes. A form of Musical One-Up. The Classical Music pumping through my speakers during traffic instantly brought up a sense of class and One-Upness amongst individual around the car who could hear it ! And lead to this very awesome and handy encounter.

The One Up and the One Down

In the beginning there was Adam and Eve, you remember Adam bit into that apple. At which in that point in time the first loser was born. Yes, the pattern was set and the world divided. Not into male and female. No no no, that’s just a mire superficial division with minor importance. Another discretionary involved but there is something more basic and more profound. At that faithful moment the world was divided into winners and losers just like the realm of chess. Top men and Underdogs. In a word; The One Up and the One Down.

Ah yes… The clear cut question in your hungry eyes. You want to know what is Lifemanship. Well Gentlemen, Lifemanship is the science of being One Up on your opponents at all times. It is the art of making him feel that somewhere, somehow he has become less than you. Less desirable, less worthy…less blessed.Who then you ask are your opponents? Everybody in the world who is not you, and the purpose of a lifeman must be to be one up on them. Because mark this well, he who is not One Up is One Down.

Sources:S.Potter, A.Sim extracts from Cinematic movie

College of Lifemanship (One-Up)

On the 16th of June at exactly 00:15 am, I clicked the button on my laptop and forth came this blog. It may not be one of the greatest economical burdens I have passed onto myself and nor do I look to benefit anything from it. However this course of action is not brought forward because I would like to show you pictures of my hometown or the girl next door. This blog isn’t going to give you the reader the right to snoop into my life. That job is primarily done by private investigators and freelancers or what others might refer to as stalkers. [*However a little following never hurt Sherlock but that is something we will get on to later] Instead of it being all about that malarkey, my blog will be about how individuals can become One-Up in various forms and diverse ways in life. I myself have a keen interest in personal succession and leadership. As you can see if you are from a democratic country except Iran and not have your Internet controlled like China, that Europe is at peace and the cold war is just clearly a memory and Camelot is now a famously named corporation, which provides us with the National Lottery. So where does the conflict still exist? It is hard to transcend … isn’t it. However at this current moment wherever you are you are being absorbed into it. The office or even maybe the bus stop or the sales assistance behind the counter who is stricken by the loss of her cheating bf she decides to give you an attitude. This is the new battleground my friend and read this carefully.

"If he is One who is not One-Up, then he my friend is One who is One-Down " Stephen Potter,One-Upmanship 1959

And being One-Up in aspects of life will give you presence in the crowd which only 1/10 of the population on earth pulse and vibrate on.

In essence my dream is to become an interviewer or even a maybe a talk show host to expand on this subject. I will try and post as much as my hands allow me to and I hope you enjoy my blog!


Your fellow man

Mr Bokhari